Down the road, our last three papers will ask you to respond critically to and with secondary texts. This mentioned, practice makes close to perfect. So, for this response, I would like you to dive into a little bit of research. Seek out a paragraph's worth of a text or so. You may pluck this block quote from a sports or fashion magazine, National Geographic, your favorite book (regardless of genre), Oprah Magazine, etc. Basically, your block quote can come from anywhere.
Now, here's your central challenge. This block quote should reflect your immediate understanding of our discussions and readings concerning concrete, significant detail. Here's the format I would like you to follow (please, don't number your response):
1- Name (or cite) your source in the beginning of your response.
2- Place your block quote into your response according to MLA Style guidelines.
3- Your analysis of any quote you enter as support into an academic paper should far outweigh the size of the quote itself. More to the point, your analysis should be more involved and literally take up more physical space in your paper than the quote itself. For example, MLA Style guidelines mandate that a writer should use a block quote when the material a writer wishes to quote runs for five or more lines (not sentences, necessarily) down a page in the text of origin. This said, if your block quote is five lines long, your analysis of this text should probably run for at least ten lines. Why? Well, a writer must always justify such a large presence of secondary material through and with critical analysis formed in their own words. I once read an essay in which its writer only discussed about four words from a Lyn Hejinian poem. The essay is near twenty pages in length. That's serious analysis. This is a challenge. So, you should focus to produce a minimum of 300 words of analysis. This analysis should reflect why you believe this short paragraph is an excellent example of our discussions and readings while working to point out at least 3 specific moments from this block quote that you feel are especially strong, illustrative examples of concrete, significant detail. You can analyze these moments simply by asking yourself how and why you feel like this short paragraph is a great example and then answering those questions in writing. This considered, as MLA Style guidelines demand, any writer will also always write about secondary texts in the present tense, always.
As always, here's a model that you can use for your own response. Please click then post your response as a "New Post" (link in top right hand corner of main blog page), not as a "Comment." Also, it doesn't seem like Blogspot will allow you to indent your block quote correctly, according to MLA Style guidelines. So for now, don't worry about this point of style. Anyway, here's my model:
Cormac McCarthy is one of my favorite novelists. In 1979 he published his fourth novel, Suttree. What follows is the opening paragraph of the book:
Dear friend now in the dusty clockless hours of the town when the streets lie black and steaming in the wake of the watertrucks and now when the drunk and the homeless have washed up in the lee of walls in alleys or abandoned lots and cats go forth highshouldered and lean in the grim perimeters about, now in these sootblacked brick or cobbled corridors where lightwire shadows make a gothic harp of cellar doors no soul shall walk save you. (McCarthy 3)
Immediately, I should mention that this moment from McCarthy's book forsakes traditional American syntax and grammar and is italicized because McCarthy is writing to represent the inner monologue of his novel's main character. He's trying to place us inside of Cornelius Suttree's stream of consciousness, which is wrought with vivid verbs and surprising, unique descriptions. "The dusty clockless hours of the town" offer us a connotative sense that this is a still town that stands unchanged for decades and remains caught in a process of sifting into the past, into disappearance (McCarthy 3). As the town and its river are the combined setting of his novel, this is a key recognition that we as readers must register. Adding to this, diminished humanity -- the hard-luck folks of the town -- seem lost to the elements, the movements of nature, unable to control their lives. For example, "the drunk and the homeless" aren't causing chaos or a ruckus, but rather they "have washed up in the lee of walls in alleys or abandoned lots" (McCarthy 3). McCarthy's details lend the connotative sense that these folks are well and truly isolated from the main-stream of the town and even each other. Yet, "the [town's] cats go forth highshouldered and lean in the grim perimeters" of these "corridors" (McCarthy 3). Apparently, small animals are better adapted to life here than some people are. "The grim perimeters" lend us a sense that this town is surrounded by a drab ominousness that one must, at least, pass through to escape this setting (McCarthy 3). However, he crafts a type of contrasting juxtaposition that reveals beauty thriving in the oft unrecognized or disregarded chambers of the town's blood-pump. For example, he writes, "now in these sootblacked brick or cobbled corridors where lightwire shadows make a gothic harp of cellar doors" (McCarthy 3). This is simply beautiful imagery. I would also like to underscore the role active verbs are filling as images. Active verbs like "lie" and "washed up" create a connotative sense of defeat, but they also contrast in important ways with "go forth" and "walk," which are verbs of progression and elevation, in the context of this paragraph. These verbs create connotative space between those who suffer and those who thrive in the environment that forces this Tennessee river town to exist, though at a near standstill, as simultaneously unforgiving and beautiful.
-Aaron Patrick Flanagan (Analysis: 505 words)
This example given, I don't expect you to produce content in the manner that I do, but please give your most honest attempt to craft a response that displays a level of sophistication that you can be proud of, can consider representative of your best efforts. Good luck!!!! Let me know immediately if you have any questions at all. Don't be intimidated by this assignment. Just jump in! Thanks to all in advance for your efforts!!
8 comments:
Over the past year I have become more and more interested in the works of Hunter S. Thompson. I recently finished reading Hell’s Angels: A Sad and Terrible Saga and the following is a paragraph from the text.
But there is nothing pathetic about the sight of an Angel on his bike. The whole--man and machine together--is far more than the sum of its parts. His motorcycle is the one thing in life he has absolutely mastered. It is his only valid status symbol, his equalizer, and he pampers it the same way a busty Hollywood starlet pampers her body. Without it, he is no better than a punk on a street corner. And he knows it. The Angels are not articulate about many things, but they bring a lover’s inspiration to the subject of bikes. Sonny Barger, a man not given to sentimental rambling, once defined the word “love” as “the feelin you get when you like somethin as much as your motorcycle. Yeah, I guess you could say that was love.” (Thompson, 92)
Hunter S. Thompson wrote Hell’s Angels using two main styles, journalistic and novelistic. This quote presents more of his journalistic approach and it’s a good example of how artistic he makes his writing. Thompson often assumes his reader is familiar with many concepts, places, people, and historical events. When I personally look at a famous painting from a century ago I may appreciate it and recognize its beauty, but an educated artist that can appreciate the paint mixtures and the brush strokes will enjoy it far more than I will. When Thompson wrote “The Angels are not articulate about many things, but they bring a lover’s inspiration to the subject of bikes,” he explains how serious the bikers were about their motorcycles. He could have written something like “the bikers were very serious about their bikes” and avoided using concrete detail, but in this case you can’t conceptualize just how serious they are, or how serious he believes they are. “A lover’s inspiration” is a concept you must identify to make the connection between the bikers and their articulation. “The whole--man and machine together--is far more than the sum of its parts.” To thoroughly grasp this sentence a reader would benefit from understanding the concept of gestalt, another concept that connects you with the writing. This process of working your mind is what makes Thompson’s writing artistic.
Thompson also seems to be reporting the story. With the example mentioned above, he describes how the bikers relate to their motorcycles and inserts a quote to further explain it, similar to the writing of a newspaper or magazine article. I can imagine myself watching the news and seeing a reporter, reporting on-site with her microphone and the camera crew. She describes the situation and presents all the major details and then interviews a bystander or a person directly related to the action.
Even in this small sample of writing I can imagine Thompson speaking the words as if he were telling a story. This is a characteristic of the writing that creates the feeling of a novel. He uses simile such as “he pampers it the same way a busty Hollywood starlet pampers her body.” With the combination of Thompson’s styles of writing he creates the feeling the bikers have toward their bikes and how they take care of them. His ability to create images and relate to people through his writing the reason people consider him to be a great journalist and writer.
Ever since I discovered Jhonen Vasquez. I fell in love with everything he did. Johnny the Homicidal Maniac is by far my favorite collection by him, so let me share a passage.
"The violent crimes? All perfectly natural in a society whose advances are limited to its technology. The basic behavior of the modern human is hardly different from that of tis primitive ancestors. The only noticeable changes are trends. Whether in a suit, or in a loincloth, people are ignorant little thorns, cutting into one another. They seem incapable of advancing beyond the violent tendencies which at one time were necessary for survival... Any pile of stunted growth unaware that entertainment is just that and nothing more, deserves to doom themselves to some dank cell somewhere for having been so stupid!" (Vasquez, 9).
Jhonen Vasquez's use of imagery and concrete detail could not be clearer in this paragraph from Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. He lets you into his twisted thoughts of society through this scene where Johnny is being interviewed about the recent increase in "violent crimes" in his neighborhood. He calls the human race a "pile of stunted growth" which suggests that, humans don't live up to the sophistication that they try to portray. "All perfectly natural in a society whose advances are limited to its technology" also portrays the same notion, in a more blunt way. The notion that society is just as primitive as it has always been, they just have a different face. As I read this I can picture and connect with the imagery of people as "ignorant little thorns cutting into one another." I picture the seemingly picture perfect mother, who behind the scenes, beats her children because she hates her life. I picture the selfishness of a cheating spouse, and the manipulative social climber who finds pleasure in tearing apart another's confidence and dignity. All these people who I picture as "ignorant little thorns" seem to be sophisticated human beings, when they really are "hardly different from that of it's primitive ancestors." A clean cut, seemingly self justified person, with a grey past and present of decency and corruption. Jhonen portrays this angle through Johnny who is, in essence, a serial killer. Jhonen portrays the argument that people who have been killed, brought it upon themselves. That at some point in their lives they created their killer. Johnny makes this statement in a clearly off balanced psychiatric way, but it seems to make sense. You can almost see where Johnny is coming from. Through out the entire collection of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Vasquez constantly makes you stop and second guess your judgement. He creates such a clear imagenitive world, it feels real. You can see these ignorant people, and feel the anger that Johnny has around you. Vasquez does an excellent job through out the entire selection with making Johnny's world almost touchable.
Kathleen Clements
As of today I have come within 100 pages of finishing Ayn Rand’s masterpiece “Atlas Shrugged”. Concrete detail soars across this goliath of a book with its 1070 pages of miniature print. The below is quote with excellent concrete detail…
“At the top, she saw a narrow hallway, its walls converging to an unlighted door. She heard the floorboards creaking in the silence, and heard the sound of ringing in the unknown space beyond. She waited. She heard the brief crack of a board bit it came from the floor below. She heard the sliding wail of a tugboat somewhere on the river. Then she knew hat she had missed some span of time, because her next awareness was not like a moment of awakening, but like a moment of birth: as if two sounds were pulling her out of a void, the sound of a step behind the door and the sound of a lock being turned-but she was not present until the moment when suddenly there was no door before her and the figure standing on the threshold was John Galt, standing casually in his own doorway, dressed in slacks and shirt, the angle of his waistline slanting faintly against the light behind him.” (Rand 997)
This passage is from a huge turning point in the novel. Dagny is going to see if John Galt, her secret lover and the man who has swore to destroy the motor of the world, is really living in New York City right under the noses of the men he has sworn to destroy. This will be the first time she has seen him since they became physically involved, an action she vowed to never do. The concrete detail of this paragraph grabs the reader and brings you into her own body. You can feel yourself walking down the narrow hallway of dark doorways with the eerie sound of the silent creaking floorboards. When Rand writes “the unknown space beyond” you get a sense of mystery and feel that Dagny is in a place unfamiliar to herself. You become aware of all the background noises around her like the tugboat the crack of a board from below. You begin to feel her sense of excitement and anxiety as she closes in on the door and as the door begins to unlock. When Galt finally reveals himself from behind the door you are aware of the unmistakable casualness of Galt, dressed in such a plain outfit as slacks and a shirt. With having read most of the novel I know that she is ecstatic to see him and that this is a moment she has been waiting her whole life to reach. The details in the text of “Atlas Shrugged” is so thorough that the reader can easily become one of the characters and this really helps to understand Ayn Rand’s philosophies and makes it an overall amazing read.
-Stuart Heidmann
Concrete Details
Recently, we read a short essay in class called Westbury Court by Edwidge Danticat. Working on identifying concrete details, I came across this paragraph:
"When I was fourteen years old, we lived in a six story brick building in a cul-de-sac off of Flatbush Avenue, in Brooklyn, called Westbury Court. Beneath the building ran a subway station through which rattled the D,M, and Q trains every fifteen minutes or so. Though there was graffiti on most of the walls of Westbury Court, and hills of trash piled up outside, and though the elevator wasn't always there when we opened the door to step inside and the heat and hot water weren't always on, I never dreamed of leaving Westbury Court until the year of the fire."
Edwidge Danticat wrote that paragraph to describe the conditions in which she lived at Westbury Court. Her description of Westbury Court, as a whole, lets us know that though her living conditions would be considered poor at best by many, she didn't mind staying. A large quantity of people live in quiet suburbs nowadays, so the though of having a subway run underneath or even near their home could be quite unpleasant. I've heard a great deal of complaining when an elevator doesn't work, I've even been a part of it. But when the author states, "though the elevator wasn't always there when we opened the door to step inside," it shows that she wasn't even fazed by it. It became somewhat of a normal occurrence that did not hold much importance. I believe the author, though describing a rather unpleasant experience, wanted to do it in such a way to make the audience feel more comfortable than uneasy. To let them feel the same as she had living there. In today's day and age, living in discomfort seems like such a terrible thing, but regardless of "graffiti on most of the walls", "hills of trash piled up outside", and the on and off elevator, heat, and hot water, the only incident that made Edwidge want to leave Westbury Court was a life changing event involving a fire.
Kristin Kaminski (358 words)
Concrete Details- Breaking Dawn
Recently I finished reading the Twilight series, written by Stephanie Meyer. The fourth installment called, Breaking Dawn, is the best one yet. A specific paragraph from the tweenty fourth chapter delivered a great example of concrete details. It describes Bella and Edward's first night in their new home:
"He caught up to my mood in an instant, or maybe he'd already been there, and he was just trying to let me fully appreciate my birthday present, like a gentlemen. He pulled my face to his with a sudden fierceness, a low moan in his throat. The sound sent the electric current running through my body into a near-frenzy, like I couldn't get close enough to him fast enough. I heard the fabric tearing under our hands, and I was glad my clothes, at least, were already destroyed. It was too late for his. It felt almost rude to ignore the pretty white bed, but we just weren't going to make it that far"(Meyer 481-482).
Throughout the series, Bella and Edward's love was the heart of the story. Certain aspects of their relationship were limited, because Bella was the fragile human, while Edward was a fierce and deadly vampire. In Breaking Dawn, Bella gets turned into a vampire, which takes away the restrictions they were forced to endure. This passage does a beautiful job at both physical and emotional concrete details. The physical concrete details describe their clothes being ripped apart, the force in Edward's kiss, Bella's immediate physical reaction to the kiss, and how they unintentionally ignored the pretty white bed. This part of the passage gives a clear visual of what the character's are doing, as well as some of the setting. The emotional side is given, because the reader gets an idea of how anxious they are to be consumed in each other's passion. Meyer's description of the scene was done in a way for anyone to be able to relate. Before that moment, Bella and Edward could only imagine what they would do to each other, as do many people in the real world. "He caught up to my mood in an instant, or maybe he'd already been there, and he was just trying to let me fully appreciate my birthday present, like a gentlemen"(Meyer 481). From this line, I imagine Edward standing there eyeing Bella, impatiently waiting for her to notice why he really brought her in the bedroom. Its a good description of how all of their sexual tension was finally being released. "The sound sent the electric current running through my body like a near-frenzy, like I couldn't get close enough to him fast enough"(Meyer 481). The writing in this line is so intense. Meyer doesn't overdo it or use vulgar language, which puts a bigger impact on the writing, because Meyer shows that less is more. "It felt almost rude to ignore the pretty white bed, but we just weren't going to make it that far"(Meyer 482). Again, Meyer's writing is simple, she puts it in a way for the reader to piece together the ending. The writing from the passage could pull anyone into the story, even if they've never read a page. This passage is a wonderful example of concrete details, because the writer balances what she wants the reader to see and what she wants the reader to create for themselves.
Aisha Norwood (Analysis: 565)
I read Slaughterhouse Five for the first time when I was a junior in high school. Ever since then, I’ve been Kurt Vonnegut fanatic, making it my mission to read all of his novels. This quote comes from Slaughterhouse Five:
Billy got out of bed in the moonlight. He felt spooky and luminous, felt as though he were
wrapped in cool fur that was full of static electricity. He looked down at his bare feet. They
were ivory and blue. Billy now shuffled down his upstairs hallway, knowing he was about to be kidnapped by a flying saucer. The hallway was zebra-striped with darkness and moonlight.
The moonlight came into the hallway through doorways of the empty rooms of Billy’s two
children, children no more. They were gone forever. Billy was guided by dread and the lack of
dread. Dread told him when to stop. Lack of it told him when to move again. He stopped.
This scene is taking place on the night of Billy Pilgrim’s daughter’s wedding night. Billy, the main character of the novel, cannot sleep on this night because he knows that the Tralfamadorians are coming to take him to their planet on this night. He knows this because he has learned the art of time travel through visiting the planet Tralfamadore, and he is choosing to relive this moment, on his daughter’s wedding night, when he first became aware that time travel was real. This concept, that of aliens and time travel, is traditionally a very mysterious and eerie one to people. Vonnegut uses some concrete details and descriptions in order to help illustrate this mood. From the moment he says that he stepped in to the moonlight, the reader can feel a little more on edge simply because it’s at night. Then he goes on to describe how this night makes him feel, saying that he “felt as though he were wrapped in cool fur that was full of static electricity” (91). This simile is such an original comparison that it’s hard for readers not to imagine what it’s like for Billy, knowing he is about to be taken away by aliens. Ultimately, the simile is very successful in creating a mood from the very beginning of the paragraph. The eerie mood is further emphasized a few sentences later when Vonnegut writes that “the hallway was zebra-striped with darkness and moonlight” (92). The hallway comes to life for readers since Vonnegut has given them this metaphor. The contrast between dark and light, black and white, is very strong, and including this juxtaposition further develops the atmosphere of this passage. A final example from this passage that illustrates good use of concrete detail comes at the end when Vonnegut describes being “guided by dread and lack of dread” (92). “Dread” signifies Billy Pilgrim’s feelings towards being knowingly taken away to another planet. He is also presenting the argument of whether it is better to know or not know the future. Would Billy have an easier time not recognizing that on this night, the moonlight is more eerie than usual because he will be taken away to another planet? All in all, this excerpt from Vonnegut’s, Slaughterhouse Five, is an excellent display of the use of significant details.
Vanessa Sakosky (544 words)
When given this assignment on detail, I had several ideal excerpts in mind from one of my favorite novels, Dave Egger’s You Shall Know Our Velocity!. Unfortunately, this work of fiction seems to be missing from the shelves of every public library and Barnes and Noble in the surrounding Chicago area. Instead, I took a small paragraph from a short story of Egger’s, called “After I Was Thrown in the River and Before I Drowned.” The tale unfolds from a canine’s point of view of everyday life, with noteworthy detail on how he sees, how he thinks, how he runs, and how he dies.
“Every day on the street I pass the same people. There are two men, two of them, selling burritos from the steel van. They are happy men; their music is loud and jangled like a bracelet. There are the women from the drugstore outside on their break, smoking and laughing, shoulders shaking. There is the man who sleeps on the ground with the hole in his pants where his ass shows raw and barnacled and brown-blue. One arm extended, reaching toward the door of the building. He sleeps so much.” (Eggers)
An evoked feeling of awe rises in me when I see that only six lines taken from an original story can produce such a vivid scene in the imagination. One detail that jumped out at me was the two happy men. “Their music is loud and jangled like a bracelet.” The simile of the two happy men’s music compared to jangling bracelets is unusual, yet you are still able to conjure up a scene in your mind. When I read, I can picture two middle-aged, Hispanic men standing inside a cold steel van. They are trapped inside this dented, silver prison for nine hours a day, yet they manage to transmit an infectious smile to every passerby. They are loud, boisterous men, blaring music like the cacophonous sound of jangling bracelets. The steam from their homemade burritos and tortillas their wives woke with the sunrise to prepare, drifts into the nostrils of a dozen hungry costumers waiting in line down the sidewalk. Another example is the women outside of the drugstore smoking. We are able to imagine them standing against the faded brick of the drugstore’s front wall, their bodies vibrating with each earsplitting cackle as they trade crude jokes. There are plump women and skinny women, a huddle of hens clucking gossip in white, pleated slacks. Last of all, there is the homeless man. He is described as a mournful image. His flesh is peeking through his torn pants, “raw and barnacled and brown-blue.” I also value the line where he has, “One arm extended, reaching toward the door of the building.” It makes me picture him as a man with no hope. He is quietly sprawled across the concrete, his eyes desperately attempting to catch another soul’s pair for just a fleeting moment. It’s as if only he could rekindle a lone spark of his faith in mankind. A gentleman in a tie strides past into a nearby building door, perhaps the drugstore. The homeless man stretches out one arm towards the man in the tie, as the door slowly closes to his extended hand. His eyes glaze over as he cautiously brings his limb back in and feebly turns over into a peaceful slumber.
This is only a limited paragraph from the story, but a scene can truly be painted in the mind from mere words. Every character and image rears to every sense. The scent of the food, the feel of the steel van, and the laughter of the women adequately combine to make an animated setting.
Jessica Phinney (word count: 621)
The Screwed-Up Life of Charlie the Second
In his debut novel, The Screwed-Up Life of Charlie the Second (2008), author Drew Ferguson presents a wealth of concrete detail in his story about a gay teenager by the name of Charlie. The story is told in first person, as if it is a memoir. Throughout the story, Ferguson indulges the reader with plentiful (if not excessive) amounts of detail to create elaborately vivid scenes. For example, Ferguson describes how Charlie's parents fight in this excerpt:
"My family fights like most people fart in church--silently and with this crippling fear that someone might notice. The Ps are so concerned with what the neighbors might think that they never have a good, knockdown, drag-out, why-can't-we-have-nice-things, this-is-the-thanks-I-get, miniature-Franklin-Mint-reproduction-of-a-Ming-dynasty-vase-hurled-at-First's-head battle royal. At first sign of conflict, First and Mom don't tear open the silverware drawer, grap the nearest Lillian Vernon holiday-topper cheese knivces and try to shiv each other on our TruGreen front lawn. No, they throw down like good WASPs, which means discreetly closing the blinds, turning on all the faucets, the vacuum cleaner, the TVs, the stereo (Mom's gotta go digging for Document and that lame-ass REM patter song; First, he prefers Twisted Sister--yeah, dude, you're hard core, way to rock out with your cock out). Then, when the Ps are 100 percent convinced that they've created their own impenetrable Phil-Spector-Wall-of-Sound, that's when they go at it..." (Ferguson 28-29)
This may be a lot to analyze, but I intend to break it down quite sufficiently because I think that this is a very good excerpt to include. Ferguson's voice is just so rich with detail and specificity that you can easily picture everything that happens.
Like the rest of the novel, this excerpt is a prime example of the wit that Ferguson infuses into his story. The first line is classic. It gives us a pretty clear impression of how Charlie's parents fight while being genuinely clever and funny. More wit follows toward the end of the excerpt when Charlie thinks, "First, he prefers Twisted Sister--yeah, dude, you're hard core, way to rock out with your cock out." (28) This is just another example of witty, concrete detail that lends to the construction of this scene. Ferguson goes to a great length to both name First's favorite fighting music, and then has Charlie criticize it in his own voice.
Another unique part of this excerpt is Ferguson's use of long, hyphenated phrases. These are unusual because in many instances they appear as long, clunky, lackluster constructions that fail to get the writer's point across. Ferguson, however, has the ability to make these truly work in his writing. These phrases add the glossy icing on the cake of detail (if you can imagine such a thing). When read, these phrases add a fast-paced rhythm to the text that emphasizes these words and the details they create: concrete details. If Ferguson had constructed these sentences more traditionally, they would not even possess half of the power that they do. Ferguson recognizes this power and uses techniques like this to further enrich his voice.
The most prominent characteristic of Ferguson's wealth of concrete detail in this passage is his diction. There are so many image-inspiring words in this small block of text. Most of them are found in the previously mentioned hyphenated phrases--details like "Franklin-Mint-reproduction-of-a-Ming-dynasty-vase" and "Lillian Vernon holiday-topper cheese knives" and "TruGreen front lawn". While these may seem basic when disembodied from the rest of the text, they add a great level of specificity to the text and add a degree of tangibility that makes concrete details concrete.
Anthony Merevick (600 words)
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